I hate Fridays, for the sole reason that bad things just happen on Fridays. Like today.

I pass Math; nothing outstanding. Quite expected of me. But at least it showed me that I can do it. That's all that matters actually. Just got to work harder.

You know, sometimes your joy brought you pain too.


Let's talk about happy occasions. the four of us went out for mass breakfasting whilst waiting forthe movie to start. Just like Heaven. Some even brought mattresses to be comfy whilst outdooring to a movie. It was quite an experience, really. Eternal love for Syahril for free tickets. I only reached home at 11 plus pm. The place is chilly yet warm, plus the three felt like family.

Don't ignore me anymore. Don't hut me to the point of tears anymore. There's only so much that I can take.

We could never see tomorrow; but no one said a word about the sorrow.


hope that I will work/study to the point of exhaustion that it will drive you out of my mind.
I'll be BETTER than you. Just watch. <\ 3

ofblack&white
8:21 PM

My computer died on me. When the blasted fridge caused the house to black out again. So all the programs in my com is not usable. I can't even play solitaire please. The only good it could do is to charge my ipod.

Woe is me. Matters of the heart shouldn't be bothering me at this point of time but it still does. =( Anyway results are ok so far; nothing worrying save Economics. Mr Tan went through the DRQ and (horror of horrors) I fucking misinterpreted the data. Ah, the woes of exams I tell you. How? Only 5 more weeks till A level examinations. But I musn't give up, couldn't give up.

My entries from today onwards would be slightly sparse, since i hate laptops. Pray the computer would be serviced ASAP. But like Momma said, it's a blessing in disguise. =.= I am really going to chiongg. really. As they say, PIA ALL THE WAY. Ah. I sound so Singaporean suddenly (insert Syahril singing My Island dunnowhat).

Past few days? Nothing of signifance. Just lethargic. Not as if i exert myself in any way. It just comes you see, this tiredness. Which I so despise since it made me wecome sleep ever so often. Like Mr Tay said "long-term sleep is death you know."

I must make a choice very fast, since I'm presented with one. And whatever it is i want to focus, really REALLY focus on the As that awaits. I both long and dread the A's. I want it to be over fast.But to get over it fast i have to go THROUGH it. Hurhurr. Break fasting and watching an outdoor flick at the Padang with Syahril Naz and Hamzah tomorrow, something to look forward to. Someone should stop being so ambiguous.

Never say you don't love someone when you can't let go.

ofblack&white
7:10 PM

A miracle or the century; I actually pass that bitchy History Paper One! Success (singing and dancing like a maniac)! But I still have to attend school for History. Yes. Tell me that History takes up a damn lot of our time. We were suppose to line up for History you know, but so far the ones only present were Syahril and I, naturally the rest did not come for assembly. Brilliant idea of joining 1a06, Mr Ng was being lame! Haha. I kind of miss not standing so up close to the podium.

I burnt my tongue and choke on hot milo for breakfast, thank you Syahril for making my day (rolls eyes). Fishmongers? Never mind.

The History class was not so bad, though we were both swaying like trees by the second or third hour. Free time from 11 till 1, supposedly time to study for the 3 hour timed corrections. The sitting itself was hilarious please, with an aircon i/c and friend shrieking in the aircon control room in AVA room. Everybody practically photocopied the answer key with the own penmanship. Halfway, Clarise and Nabila was playing Haitai, Junxian&friends talked the way through. How slacked.

Oh. Qis whined for dinner so I obliged. She came from Parkway and we ended up at Parkway. Syahril chaperoned us to the Hougang CC bus stop. Double Ds? LOL. Tomyam noodle. Its nice really. Especially when you eat it free.

I don't know I feel exceptionally exhausted today. =.=

Do you know, why I didn't look you in the eye? Because the feeling is still there.
So just tell me why.

ofblack&white
8:41 PM

Prelims was over, good riddance. But at a sour note. I hate the Economics paper today. I shall not waste whatever energy I have rantin and panting on it.

So off to Eastcoast, lunched with Farn again. Macs please. Budgeting. I'm left with a few cents for tomorrow. Oh, found a secluded spot at the beach. Couldn't be more appropriate. Breakwaters, with a bench under a tree just nearby. Lovely weather for a lovely day. Sat at the breakwaters for eternity, spilling our heart out, our usual talks. I had the urge to call Hazel and the three of us had little jokes here and there. Packed up and let's fly! Haha went off at about three, winding up home, sore everywhere.

Afraid and shy.
I let my chance go by.

Actually I didn't. I just made a mistake out of it. =\ Honey don't be stressed over PW. LOL. You can see me tomorrow. If that's a consolation for you (though I doubt it).

ofblack&white
8:57 PM

Yet again, I've finished a novel in the midst of prelims. I did not read as intensively as I usually would, racing through the book, feeling maudlin and awed after few hours. I took my time and finished Kite Runner within two days.

Yet again, the usual propaganda please. It's a fantastic read. I know I've said that for all the books I've read. But so far, this is the most impactful one. really. Better than My Sister's Keeper. What's it about? The life of a boy through Communist-ridden Afghan to Taliban-infested. Er more than that actually. Alot about karma, about typical human nature. I pray you grab this fast. It's as hot as hotcakes.

I am halfway through my academic agenda for the day. Means I shall burn the night away with it. I marvelled at my ability to use the computer for less than three hours a day! I am slowly curing from this computer addiction. (:

How seamless seemed love and then came trouble.

ofblack&white
6:54 PM

"... To mend myy heart."

Tiring day, travelling here and there. Just a short entry to ramble on my day. Had Qistina's party at Elias Green or something, Nadhirah's condo. It was quite an event, waiting and rushing with the food and constantly hearing Ams' curse over the minute things. Amongst the girls, there's FARN (: I miss her like awfully loads. Then Qj always there to tease, and the few lah, Lishan, Jo, Umairah, Yats, Nadhirah Adilah. And the guys, lol. They were quite anti social please; Matin Jerome Hafiz Hafiz Junhe Gilbert (??) Vinder Nichols Jonsee etc etc. I had to cab home for I'm running late.

I will not sleep until I finish market structure. (:
Every little step to make me forget you.

Ok. Hit the books without digression for once ok?

ofblack&white
12:20 AM

It was quite a hooha day today, lots of fun please!

History paper was not any fun though. Anyway I was glad it was over. I must must start mugging for A's already. Haha. Funny I mention it oft but the bones never moved. Battle of the will!

Anyway it was pouring boys&girls but somehow it receded by the time we ended our paper. I was fine with walking in the drizzle since I've a jacket, as of the rest too. Syahril had to be different lol. SO the five of us saw a cab infront of Sunshine and ran helter skelter towards it. And we stopped at the 81 bus stop, all because someone didn't want to get wet. We got down laughing. Changed midway and there we were at the airport (again).

Swensens! It was quite an affair, Michelle's baked rice without cheese, Hamzah's how-do-I-eat-a-clam. Syahril's burger was big can! And Naz complain about salty salmons. Oh well. Had my apple crumble, shared with the girls. Syahril alone ate a white blondie or something while Ham's contented with his complimentary desert (which I'm not lol). Sat and chat, the usual for us of course.

Walked about! Viewing mall, camwhoring, bitching, dancing, singing, just being ass of ourselves. It was fun to let loose, really. We went to Parkway while Michlai and Ham went home. Found the phonebook she's looking for, while the male went a-shopping again. There's prints at Parkway. Nicee. She got a box from there that looks so smartish please. I got a phone pouch which is typically leathery, but not white. Learnt my lesson. Marched the way home, sing, dance hahaha the usual.

I saw Anas just now!

I see you when it snows in crystals
dancing down,

ofblack&white
8:18 PM

Guilt. OH.

I went out the whole day, and that left no room for studying. Die a horrible death. As quoted by Miss Koh. I was traumatised like anything after my religious classes. You know the Cedarian I talked about the past two entries? She fucking kissed me on the cheek. I'm horrified. Emotionally scarred. Wow. At this rate I'll only get married at forty. What's with perverts and... lesbians smothering me. 2006 proved yet again to be a peculiar year don't you think?

Ok so... I only sat at home till about 4 plus, guiltily reading and skimming through notes till I fall asleep. As said, we went to Parkway! Hit the MPH, I saw Nabilah, and I will be seeing her again on... Tuesday? I got Kite Runner and Black Angel, something I've been yearning to get. Had some New Zealand Naturals (ironic, the strawberry taste artificially diabetic). And gotten myself an orange 6280 and 500 additional free SMS. Ecstatic I tell you.

So two months ago... -.- This date proved to be kind of jinxed you know, the seventeenth. I did something horrible in July, got nervous for testimonial match (which the year 2s lost) in August, and got harassed by a... she-male. What will next month bring?

Haha weird! I was at TM about 9 yesterday and Syahril was there. He's also around the area when I'm at Parkway today. As if we don't see each other enough. Well, there's tomorrow's lunch. (:

I'm still traumatised. And violent deaths tomorrow, on Syahril and my part for History. Just what I needed. Oh and Ms Huda IS sweet to give us e-cards. It's supposedly motivational. Cute!

I should read more notes. =.=
Wan an love.

ofblack&white
9:21 PM

Exciting night, really. How more exciting could it be when your house had four consecutive powertrips. My mom blamed it on my excessive computer usage. But after much... investigations, it's the fridge, God bless it. I don't recall mentioning that the fridge, after serving us for more than 8 years, decided to hand in the retirement form. Really, no ice for weeks is suckiness.

Well well. My dad's as impulsive as me now. He saw a handphone advert in the Newpaper and decided that 100 free outgoing, free incoming and 1000 free messages with a 6280 Nokia handset would be good for his children. So he had us out to TM, only to find the shop closed since were about ten minutes late. Haha and he's adamant so we'll be visiting Hello!shop@Parkway tomorrow.

I'm not that keen for a new handset frankly. I have 100+ messages memorable enough for me to keep in my old 6210. So go me (quotes michlove), I always have weird attachements to these sort of things.

Michlove's messaging me about her neighbours having wild parties at night (maybe mass orgies LOL) while she's trying to study STATS (of all things) on a Saturday night. And cramps aren't actually helping. Ha! I told her to go drink gassy drinks or cold water and eat spicy food so she'd be long dead to worry about noisy neighbours and sucky Math.

Haha someone's housephone bills must've been skyrocketing since someone kept calling me. (: Oh well, great news honey! I'm not changing my password so indulge in the private for all you care.

Ok I pray the house won't turn dark suddenly. Not of fear, just annoyance.

Shoot me again I ain't dead yet.

ofblack&white
11:25 PM

Hey! It finally rained! I was quite pleased. But not so, since I had to drag myself out today. So my favourite pants ended up getting wet at the edges. Ha!

Went over to Amsani's Residence for top-secret-operations (dots I know). After, we walked to TM to get the backpack my eleven-year-old dearest wanted (not my secret lovechild, just my cousin). It left me 33$ poorer, but no matter. BK-ed. Been quite a long time since I had BK. So I think Naz is being a darling for the desert-only Swensen's treat this coming Monday.

OH. My God. You know, a Cedarian (an unstraight one at that) told me that she misses me and couldn't wait to see me on Sunday. Doubleyewteeeff please! She's my friend, but that kind of disturbed me slightly. Haha. What's the world coming to! I don't think I'm that pretty am I? (It's your cue to roll your eyes). Mehmeh. I feel alienatish, with old men and perverts and er... malay girls liking me. Can I get someone proper please? Preferably with small eyes. LOL!! Now I know how a certain someone feels the other time. =
Besides the point.

Certain things in life you can't just get. I don't know what I want to accomplish in the end either. I'm confused with. I wonder what's my raison d'etre. I want to BE something, but I'm just being too lazy to work for. To work towards whatever goals I set for myself. AAHH.

No mercy, no more. No remorse cause I still remember,
the smile when you tore me apart.

ofblack&white
10:27 PM

The impulse to blog was quite overwhelming I must say. So, here I am (again).

The Mathematics paper was not that scary. But it still sucks. Why? Being me, I didn't study much for the Pure Mathematics section. And I threw those 34 marks out. AAHHH. Statistics was okay. It could be easier, but I'm thankful. Because it could be harder. I don't know what logic I am using but I hope you will see it my way.

ANYWAY I'm still hating myself for being so easily drained. Yea. All I did today was to sit for the 3-hour long exam and some Math in the morning. I'm feeling quite sleepy already and it's not even NINE yet for God's sake. Something's wrong with me. Must wake up.

Ah. On the way home, CJ was so tickled by the fact that there were a carton or two of eggs smashed on two junctions of the road. Well, quite a sight; when the lorry swerved and the eggs just crashed down. She said er... they'll be scrambled eggs tomorrow. LOL. And Huda's wrong number incident was lame. Had nice laughs onboard 222.

Ah. I should start on History today, seriously. But you know the lazy bones. ): I wonder if I can ever resist temptation.

If love's a word that you say, then say it.
I will listen.

ofblack&white
8:04 PM

God. I pray it rains. It's so hot I'm reduced to nothingness.

I hate this faitgueness. It knocks me out like a wind. I didn't even do anything strenuous (I don't think you'll count the time when I went lunching with Nadz) for the day. AAAHHH.

Surprisingly I felt a slight panic for Mathematics paper 2. I take it as a good sign.

No, I'm not trying to make a statement.

Ok someone please pray that it rains. Or best still. Do a raindance. On a couch. Whatev.

ofblack&white
8:43 PM

I'm back. The paper was not as hellish as History thank God for that. But it could be simpler. Bah.

Enough about stressful papers. I went out dinner with Syahril after the paper. We went all the waaay to the Airport for Swensen's (with a cosy ambience, since the one at PP and J8 were terrifyingly lacking in that). I felt very pig after. Lol. Good company plus banana split just about top the dessert.

MS HUDA'S VIDEO

The one and only, folks. I'm the producer, whereas Hamzah does all the editing. It's wonderful! Really! No lies! Haha. Although the last part positively made me cringe. Wait till I see Hamzah on Thursday. I'll probably boomerang an axe into his head for it. LOL.

No paper tomorrow. Big rejoice. Lol. Doesn't mean I can slop off either. But Syahril's apple crumble kept appearing inside. And the taste... I felt like I went to heaven and came back down. Ah.

Good night.

ofblack&white
11:17 PM

Good morning.

Yesterday was the start of the preliminary examinations. It was last two weeks rather, but GP doesn't really count, no? Math was quite fine I should say. It was doable, but it provided a vast room for careless mistakes, something I'm very prone to. Some questions were quite... tough I must say. Like the either/or question. Ha. I was tempted to not choose any, since I have no clue. Haha.

HISTORY. My God. It's the most "formidable document" I've ever seen. Ok not that exagerrating. But it came close. The questions were... well (goes speechless). It's tough. Really the unexpected. Like wow. The SBQ was, well could be confusing. But the essay! AAAHH. Its a 7 choose 3 affair. BUT. The department had to be bitchy and gave us fixed questions.

Er. We're suppose to do nation-building Industrialwhatsit and the Unification of Germany or something like that. However due to time constraints they only taught us till totalitarianism. THEN those sick tutors had to include undoable questions and the whole population was forced to do question 2 6 and 7. Sick I tell you. It killed everybody. I'm sure it did. Oh and the best thing? Mr Tay said that the paper 2 would be challenging. Shucks sucks.

Hurr. I hope that they won't commit any massacre for Economics. One paper was enough to kill. And getting tummy aches in the morning somewhat spoils my mood for Econs. =
I pray that you'll be okay.

ofblack&white
10:12 AM

Let me indulge.


Tiring day. Tell me what I'm doing at Plaza Singapura at 1030 today. Helped coach out with his ABC along with Kat and Cj. Er... then went to the open house with Indah and Shazreen. Haha! I don't know to cry or laugh for Shazreen, for she had along with her 4 of the most Godawfully-amusing-yet-naughty cousins on tow.

It's self-inflicted pain that helps. Not physical now, but psychological. Haha it could leave me tearing my eyes out but it'll help. You know, it'll help me get you out of my system. (:

Losing time.

ofblack&white
6:00 PM

Ah. The oh-so-familiar panic settles in.

Anyway. My bones felt like disintegrating anytime soon. Seriously, I think exhaustion finally began to settle, and I hate it when it settles, especially when it's so close to Monday.

I hope Kissina is fine. I want her happy. ): But sometimes. Aaah. Why must it, that the ones I cared for are always so sad and depressed. All because of. -.-
Smile more please darrling.

I was quite on the verge of getting emo-momo again, and have the elf to recommend me yoga, but somehow getting tired just about cancel off the emo-ness.
Haha I don't make freaking sense. Pray for a nice and tireless day tomorrow, but I don't see how!

You are far; I'm never gonna be your star.
Haha. Tu me manques mon cheri.

ofblack&white
10:17 PM

Ahha. I spend relatively little today. Hurrah for me.

Typically I woke up late-ish? I have to cure this bad habit of mine. Anyway life's been very routine-y, if you get the gist. Wake up, play a game of Literati, go off out to study. Showered when reached home, grab another game of literati, (try to) study bit, read a book, and sleep. It's like, I don't have to think much when I wake up. I'm waffling now, someone tell me to stop.

My room should be awarded the eighth wonder of the world. It's like the next Houdini I must say. No matter HOW I tried cleaning the damned place, by the next 8 hours it's going to return to the initial state of mess. It's like weeds you see; no matter how many times you pluck it out it'll grow. Haha. My God, I'm being a loser using gardening analogies. Whatev that means.

I love music. You know, music just about sums up my life. I flit from your embarassing boybands (think BSB and such), to the mainstream pop-rock (trying to fit into society more like). Then my taste in music just went berserk (as some pointed out) when Metallica, Iron Maiden, those metal bands began to appeal to me. Umm. Haha. Well, due to some personal reasons or others I began to grow fond of Jazz and oldies. BUBLE! Haha. Jamie Cullum, abit of Norah Jones and tonnes Bryan Adams, Carpenters, Kenny Rogers.

Well those cliches talk about songs having their own story. I think so too! I could associate a certain song to a certain memory, or to certain people, or for certain moments. Like SymphonyX reminded me of the pre-year1 jitters. Haha! Or like Kamelot brought me back to jogging (its my jogging songs because of the beat). Ronan Keating's She Believes In Me flooded me with memories of busrides. Alot lah.
Oh and, the song Tonghua and Unfaithful? They reminded me of something I could never have. (:

My tummy still ache. Cure me.
More to the point, cure my heart.
=\

ofblack&white
10:47 PM

Haha. I spent the day shifting and moving around Singapore. Lol. I woke up fairly late, and rushed for "transaction purposes". I was typically staring out into oblivion when I suddenly saw a familiar mess of black hair and specs going down the escalator at Eunos. Haha! Of to driving lessons huh. Must take me out for a spin someday.

Hmm then met them at LJS and stuff. Saw Bibik! Haha she positively cringed when she saw me. I am insulted! Went to Parkway's Starbucks and sat for a good hour and a half or so, when we got chased out. I nearly cried when they wanted to go Plaza by the Park! Noo. I hate town area. We went off to Raffles City after that for their dinner. I only reached home at 9. Bah.

Haha I miss Huda! Quite on impulse. I finally finished Origins of WW1. I want to nail my SBQ. It was an OK day if you asked me. Strange but. Oh well.

I'm getting sleepy. I hate this habit. Of slping relatively late and waking up later than anything. =
And you'll never find, it'll take the end of all time.
Someone who understands you like I do.

ofblack&white
11:42 PM

What; I should be sleeping. Haha. I can feel my weary bones breaking on me. Went Bras Basah to study. At the Macs, with Michlai. She's a BIGG eavesdropper I tell you, occasionally smiling and laughing to herself at out neighbour's antics. Uhh, and she brought her whole house down to study with. I swear the load she brought is heavier than the Qur'an, the Bible, and the Torah combined. Then her friend came to clear mathematical doubts.

Haha Chaijing is so nicce! Sent Caught In The Act all the way to my doorstep (literally). And I didn't even asked her to! Haha. Ok. A personal big thank you to you.

And boy am I glad for that. Buble is... a great performer. Definitely captivating. Haha.

I am panicking for prelims. I take it as a good sign.
I hope. Let's fly.

So bye; but please don't take my heart.

ofblack&white
12:53 AM

Yes. Of death. I never know why Steve Irwin's death had affected me, looking at how I never actually watched his shows, and his over-enthusiasm sometimes irked me. But I think, it affected me because it showed how sudden death could... obliterate a person's existence. Just with a snap of the finger.

Uhh. I don't know this weird feeling. I remember vaguely of a dream when... you died. In my dream. I felt... wow, empty. Ok maybe empty is too strong a word but there's that (cliched) void. Ah well. Maybe imagining his wife and kids without him evoke some God-forsaken feeling inside. I don't like it. But it kind of lingers till now.
Ok sucky.

Anyway I went to Plaza By The Park, wherever it is, to mugg. I finished almost half of Origins Of World War I, am I proud of myself haha. But like she say, would it be retained inside? I hope I won't forget it by tomorrow. We stayed till 6 plus, and I saw quite a number of weird characters in Coffeebean. One couple definitely needed a house.

Collected my specs. (:

I believe, for you and me, the sun will shine one day.
Do you think?

ofblack&white
8:41 PM

I don't know if iTunes is being spiteful to me, for all the songs they picked in the shuffle mode were just slow and emofuck. Haha.

I hate obnoxious men (aka father), bothersome beggy men (R), and touchy feely men (terroriser). I find them to be the most hateful breed at times, and now would be another moment. One broke my friend's heart, the son-of-a-bitch should just die. One kept pestering me to meet up just because he's fucken bored (go get a prostitute and lay with her will you), and the one is annoying by simply existing. I don't know if this trait runs in all of them, but I hope not, because when will I get married then? Haha I want my grandfather. I mean his characteristic. If he's 40 years younger and isn't related to me by blood I'd jump on him. And my mom don't exactly approve of Chinese. -.-

I want to study yet I have these kind of distractions. I'm not even asking for them. AAAHHH. I hope consultation tomorrow and studying-out-with-the-Kat would be productive. I want to take my mind of things. And I want to score for the bloody prelims (which I doubt I will anyway). Bleh. reality sucks.

On a brighter note, I'm making new specs in a hour's time! Haha yay. Now I don't have to squint my eyes out to see the transparency.

Ma's cooking a storm. The few times the kitchen is actually functioning! Haha. One day I'll drone on about the peculiar household I live in.
Or maybe not. Lol.

No, you don't know the one who dreams of you at night.

ofblack&white
7:22 PM

Good morning (at least to me)!! I'm suppose to have breakfast by the beach at ten, and hang around like a leech till four, but apparently good sense took over and I decided to stay home, to study (I think). Haha I'll give the potluck a miss.

Anyway nothing's up in my drabby life. Teacher's Day celebration, like what the Sims2 party counter may put it, was a snooze. Really. There wasn't much of year1s present, which made the atmosphere... boring. And that torrential rain didn't exactly helped.

Yesterday, I went to Compasspoint to study, and eat there of course. Haha. Crazy I know. The library. there's always coffee. Though not as fantastic as Coffeebean or Starbucks but no matter. Ham met up with us and showed the video. It was fantabulous! Haha with the music and all. Touching. BK-ed and I was laughing at someone's IC. Look like an ELF. LOL. LEGOLAS. HAHAHAH.

Oh. Thursday, I got my dose of Caramel Frap, coffee-ish yet sweet. And the coffee jelly thing is love please. And all for free. Might've asked for the cheesecake but I have a conscience.

Afraid and shy/ I let my chance go by/ A chance that you might love me too.

Sometimes when you don't want to see someone, you'll bump into them at the most obscure corners of the world.
Ah well.

ofblack&white
12:12 PM